PET DIARIES UNCOVERED
As seen in a dog's diary:
8am - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite
10am - Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite!
11am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
Noon - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
1pm - Oh Boy! The yard! My favorite!
3pm - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
4pm - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
5pm - Oh Boy! Mom! My favorite!
7pm - Oh Boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
9pm - Oh Boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!
As seen in a cat's diary:
Day 183 of my captivity... My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little
dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry
cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild
satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I
may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving
around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded -- must try this at
the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile
oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair -- must
try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body,
in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike
fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good
little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan. There was some sort of
gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event.
However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly I overheard
that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is
and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are
flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than
happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got
to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my
every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is
assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time.